It’s been a challenging time recently, in both real life and Second Life. Quite often when I don’t blog for a few weeks it’s because I’m dealing with a symptom of Bipolar II. For me, it usually manifests as a depressive episode and more often than not I can feel it coming on, although occasionally it can hit me from out of the blue. I started to feel really glum a few weeks
I started to feel really glum a few weeks ago and realised I was starting to struggle. When that happens I batten down the hatches and deal as best I can; that means I sleep a lot, I tend to not be interested in any of my normal pleasures (in other words Second Life) and I retreat into myself until it passes. I have to do this so that I can at least function in some capacity in my real life job. When I’m in the thick of an episode I feel as though I’ll never get clear of it again, but slowly I start to emerge.
That’s where I am at the moment; I’m starting to come out of this interminable funk and beginning to feel better again. Whilst I was dealing with this latest episode I missed loads of IMs, events and lost a shedload of goodies that were dropped on me too (so if you sent me something and it hasn’t appeared I can only apologise). I realised long ago that there’s no point crying over missed posts; I’ve said on these pages before real life ALWAYS comes first, and it does, but oftentimes the two existences collide.
An example of this happened just this past weekend when I finally ventured onto Plurk again and discovered to my horror that two friends had died; Thorny and Scarlett (Amy) I’ve written before on these pages about friendships made in the virtual world but it’s worth remembering that the friendships we make with people in the virtual world that we choose to inhabit are just as valid as the ones that we cultivate in reality. We may never meet the person behind the avatar, but how we respond to them and feel about them is just as credible as the emotions generated by being with someone on the physical plane.
It’s incredibly hard to accept that we’ll never encounter their presence upon the virtual or physical planes ever again. But they will live on in our hearts, forever remembered with love. I’m so glad they came into our virtual world and fostered friendships and relationships that will endure, and while we may choose to represent ourselves through pixels on a screen, It’s worth remembering that behind the keyboards we each have beating, vibrant hearts, and that’s where we’ll carry the memories of our dear friends forever.
And that’s the reason that despite my illness, and the fact that it may take me away from Second Life from time to time, I always come back. I find my way home.