This picture sums up exactly how I feel at the moment; just like this small kitten, I feel so vulnerable, cold and alone. I learned on Wednesday that my RL job is threatened. Nobody saw any redundancies coming, it was completely out of the blue. It happened so fast: we went from a surprise announcement at 11am to seeing five of the loveliest people I could have the pleasure to know being walked out of the office, let go on the spot. It was cold, cruel and heartbreaking.
The immediate managers had no idea that this was going to be dropped on them, and they were struggling, because it was those poor souls that were having to take people out to tell them they were being made immediately redundant. After that happened we were told there would more to come.
I adore my job; I’ve loved every day that I’ve worked there and we’re generally treated incredibly well. I’ve worked there for over two years and not once have I ever woken up in a morning thinking that I didn’t want to go to work, it’s that kind of place. I’m comfortable and happy; I’m not earning an enormous wage but it’s enough and it enables me to live my life with very few debts other than mortgage and bills. Granted, there’s bugger all left to save at the end of the month but that’s what it’s like these days!
The people I work with are amazing, I can’t emphasise that point enough. There’s nobody I dislike in the office ( I work with about thirty people) and everyone is respected and loved by each other, no mean feat for an IT environment. We have great banter and support each other through thick and thin; I’m not exaggerating, we really are a good bunch, which is why this is so bloody hard to bear. It’s physically painful. Everything feels fractured; Wednesday was absolutely horrific and could only be tolerated through a veil of tears. Thursday was hard as nobody had any clue what to expect, would more people be marched out? Friday was the same. I’ve never known the atmosphere so quiet, so tense, and so overwhelmingly sad.
We’ve heard that we will know more about our fate around Wednesday 9th November. I’m in a team of five and I have no idea how many of us will be impacted by the cuts, but we all need our jobs of course. It feels so unfair, so callous. Our little work family is fractured irretrievably and we can’t do anything else for each other than hug and say we’ll help each other get through it, but how? I have no idea how I will cope if I lose my job. At the moment I just feel permanently sick and stressed to my very core. It’s a horrendous feeling like I’m awaiting execution. Other jobs of the same kind are few and far between in the local area, so I’ll struggle to find something similar.
The reason for this is to ask my fellow Witches if there are any workings/sigils/spells that you can suggest as I’m all out of ideas and need desperately to do ‘something’ to feel that I’ve at least tried everything that I can to save my job. It doesn’t just apply to me either, but to my lovely colleagues who I’m sure are feeling as crap as I am tonight, and wondering what the next week will bring. I’m not the kind of Witch that performs regular spell workings as I firmly believe in using all practical solutions with magic used only as a last resort, and I rarely do anything more complicated than saluting the Moon on an Esbat and lighting candles/making offerings/performing readings at Sabbats, but I do live a life of what I consider to be ‘mindful’ Witchcraft and carry that with me every day. The problem is, because of all this stress I’m not thinking clearly and my books and notes aren’t giving me any ideas.
Sorry for the long post; it’s helped somewhat to write all this down but I can only say that at the moment it feels like the first few days after a bereavement; I’m in shock and I just don’t know where to turn. Please send hugs and good vibes if you have any spare xxx