MBA: Broken Hearted But Still Here

friday_002So, despite everything I lost my job. I’m in what’s known as a period of consultation now, and it’s left me feeling bereft. It’s not just the financial implications associated with losing your income (which are huge and quite frankly when I start to think about it all I start to feel an anxiety attack coming on) but it’s the ending of my work-family, and the loss of closeness that I had with my colleagues at my workplace.
I feel like I’ve been dumped. It was so out of the blue, and I really am totally reeling from it. It is a lot to take in, and as if that wasn’t enough to contend with, I’m ill as well. I have a rampant chest infection (which is infuriating as it is painful) and my partner has full-on Influenza. I’ve been attending to him while getting my CV together and trying to get my head around what has happened.
I’m not even close to understanding it at all, though. I feel like damaged goods; like I’m broken inside. I’m worried about the future. I hate feeling like this, and I resent being made to feel like this. I loved my job and I worked hard at it, and the loss is truly incredibly hard to bear.
So please, for the moment, bear with me.
I’m trying to update the blog as I have commitments to designers and event coordinators but the situation I’m in has meant that my priority has been real life, rather than Second.
I’m trying to pop back in to take snaps etc. and I will upload them as soon as I do, but obviously, I’m looking for jobs and caring for a sick-as-a-dog boyfriend now. I did pop in-world to pay rent earlier and managed to put this snap together and was grateful for the distraction so I do plan to do more, it’s just finding the time at the moment. My head is spinning and I really need a break, but I can’t buckle. And don’t even get me started on Christmas…
I will be back. I’ll try to log in more over the weekend and get up-to-speed with blogging, but I thought it polite to share with you all what’s going on.
I’ll also update the full list of credits for this image when I’m next online, for now just know that this awesome little dress is from  INSANYA @  MESH BODY ADDICTS and  I love it.

I needed something to put a smile on my chops today, this just about did the trick x

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